Nature (G) 15 Lizards: Episode 1

     "Hi! Hello! I probably don't know you! But that's okay, you should be within 1,000,000,000,000,000^{1000 miles within my house. A snail could travel that far, if you give it unlimited lives so it can live forever and crawl to my house. Also, a lizard could travel that far if you give it unlimited lives minus one. Anyway, this is nature (G) 15, you favorite and most reliable show about nature! If you didn't know, the (G) stands for Guide, and the 15 is the number for Huntsville's news. Kind of like how there's an ABC News 1, 2, 3, and all that. We are number 15! So others are probably in Chicago, or New York, or San Fransisco, or even Black Rock Desert! But let's not draw away the attention from our show, though. My name is Simon Bob Bobby, and I'm your host. I also have a sidekick, Frank Bobby Bob."}

     "Yea man, I'm so much awesomer than Simon, he is a badder person, na' mean?" said Frank.

     "Frank, how many times do I have to tell you to be quiet and not interrupt me while I talk about something important?" asked Simon.
     " Zero, man. If you asked me "how many times do I have to tell you to be quiet and not interrupt me while I talk about something NOT important? 4,321,749. Do you feel me, dawg?"

     "Exactly, I "feel you". You interrupted more than 4,321,749 times. Do you know what that means?"

     "FREE COOKIES!"

     "No, it means you need to sit in the corner."

     "No."

     "Yes."

     "Maybe."

     "NOT MAYBE, BUT YES!" yelled Simon.

     "Okay. You told me to sit in the corner. I'm sitting in the corner of my chair." said Frank.
     "Whatever, now don't say a word."
     "Okay, I'll just say everything else other than that 2 words, the first one 1 letter, second one 4 letters."

     "Don't speak at all, okay?"

     "mmhhhhmmm..."

     "That was probably 5 minutes of energy I wasted by arguing that I'll never get back. Let's talk about Nature (G) 15: Lizards now, since we stopped arguing. Lizards are couch potatoes that love watching T.V. They especially like The Lizard of Oz. Probably 99% of lizards recommend it. I know that because I heard the lizards say so. They were hissing at the T.V. the entire time, so they loved it! They even wrote a review for it.

I told the lizards to write good or bad, because I understand and speak Lizardish. This is what one of the lizards wrote as a review: 

'bad bad bad bad bad bad'

There were 6 bads in it! Six negatives make a positive, that lizard loved it! And do you know what? Another review said that 'it was as bad as lizard stew'. I love lizard stew. I don't know about lizards, though. They probably enjoy crickets. I don't think crickets enjoy cricket stew. They probably enjoy rotten tomatoes. I don't think rotten tomatoes enjoy rotten tomato stew. They enjoy light, water, and carbon dioxide! All these facts are totally related to nature and not science! Anyway, did you know that some lizards think that their environment is so beautiful that they change to that color, too? I Could never believe."

     "Bye!" said Frank.

     "What? What do you mean?" asked Simon.

     " I mean, bye," replied Frank. "I'm turning the camera off. I've had enough with you."
     "Enough with me? I've had enough with you."
     "Don't care, turning it off!"

     "Don't you even daa---"

That concluded Nature (G) 15.